Chapter 3
The award show smells like bad hairspray and fake everything.
Alex can taste it.
He stands in line with the band under a ceiling of lights that don’t feel like stage lights.
These are colder. Meaner. Made for judging. A life on show.
Jackson is to his left, grinning like he already won.
Alex keeps his hands clasped in front of him so no one sees them shake.
Embarrassment starts early.
A stylist fusses with Alex’s collar like he’s a mannequin. Tugs too hard. Laughs when Alex flinches.
“Sorry,” she says, not sorry. “You’re just… so quiet. Forgot you were there.”
The others laugh. Not cruel. Just careless.
It still lands.
Alex smiles like it doesn’t. He’s use to this.
Isolation follows the second the laughter fades.
He watches the room. All the famous faces. All the confidence. Everyone loud and smooth and certain. Alex feels like he’s wearing someone else’s skin.
Jackson drifts away the moment they’re released from the line.
He always does.
People pull him like gravity. Other artists. Hosts. Influencers with cameras already rolling.
Alex stands behind a column and checks his phone for something to do with his hands.
His lock screen is a photo of a pasture back home. Wide sky. Cattle like dark dots.
Silence you can almost hear.
A notification pops up.
Jackson: Where’d you go?
Alex stares at it.
His thumb hovers.
He types: I’m here.
Deletes it.
Types: By the left wing.
Deletes it.
Finally: Behind the pillar by the bar.
Jackson’s reply comes fast.
Stay.
One word.
A command.
Alex’s stomach flips.
Small connection. Stupid. But warming. A glow rising through his body. Chosen. Not butterflies but like sun rising inside him.
He hates that one word can do that.
The ceremony starts. They get escorted to their seats. Cameras sweep across the crowd like a spotlight searching for someone to devour.
Alex claps when everyone claps.
Laughs when everyone laughs.
Doesn’t breathe too loud.
Then—
“And the award for Best Band goes to…”
The envelope rips open.
Alex’s hearing goes strange. Like someone turned the world down and left only the sound of his heart.
Their name.
The room erupts.
Jackson shoots to his feet like he’s been waiting his whole life for this moment. He grabs Alex’s wrist and yanks him up with him.
Embarrassment hits instantly.
Hands on him. Cameras on him. Jackson’s grip tight and possessive like Alex is proof of something.
“Come on,” Jackson laughs, dragging him toward the stage. “This is ours.”
Ours.
The word hits Alex harder than the applause. Full sun rising.
Onstage, the lights are blinding.
Jackson takes the trophy like it belongs to him. Speaks like he’s giving a TED talk. Jokes land. People love him. They always do.
Alex stands half a step back.
Smiles when the camera finds him.
Claps on cue.
Tries not to look like he wants to disappear.
Isolation creeps in anyway.
Even here. Even now.
Because Alex knows what happens after the cheers.
They go backstage. A swarm. People shouting congratulations. People demanding photos. People pressing glasses into their hands.
Someone calls Alex “the shy one” like it’s his legal name.
Then, finally, a narrow corridor behind the green room.
A break in the noise.
Alex slips into it like oxygen.
He leans against a wall, breathing hard.
He hears footsteps.
Knows them before he sees them.
Jackson.
He’s moving fast. Trophy in one hand. The other reaching for Alex like he can’t help it.
“You okay?” Jackson asks, breathless.
Alex nods, but his throat is tight.
Jackson smiles. A real one this time. Smaller. Less show.
“We won,” Jackson whispers. Like he’s sharing a secret instead of a headline.
Alex lets out a shaky laugh. “Yeah.”
Jackson steps closer.
Too close.
Alex should move.
He doesn’t.
Jackson’s eyes drop to Alex’s mouth. Then back up.
Alex’s pulse spikes. Every nerve on high alert.
Jackson lifts his hand. Hesitates.
Then cups Alex’s face.
Alex’s skin burns under his palm.
“Tell me to stop,” Jackson says quietly.
Embarrassment crashes in.
Not because of the moment.
Because of how badly Alex wants it.
Because Alex knows he shouldn’t.
Isolation sharpens—this corridor is empty, but the whole world is right outside it.
Alex doesn’t say stop.
Jackson kisses him.
Hard.
Not gentle. Not testing. Like he’s been holding it back too long and suddenly doesn’t care.
Alex freezes for half a heartbeat.
Then kisses back.
Heat floods his chest. Relief. Want. Panic.
Jackson’s hand slides into Alex’s hair. Holds him there. Like he’s afraid Alex will vanish if he lets go. Eternity.
A sound from down the corridor.
A laugh. Footsteps.
They break apart fast.
Both breathing hard.
Jackson’s eyes are bright. A little wild.
“We can’t,” Alex whispers.
“I know,” Jackson says.
He presses his forehead against Alex’s.
“But I want to,” Jackson adds.
Small connection turns into something heavier. Something real.
Alex should pull away.
Instead he whispers, “Then don’t make me feel stupid.”
Jackson’s expression flickers.
“What?”
“In there,” Alex says, voice low. “When they ask you things. When you—”
Jackson exhales, like he already knows.
He nods once. “Okay.”
A promise.
Thin. Fragile.
But it’s something. A change. Nothing will ever be the same and they know it.
Then the door to the corridor swings open.
A handler calls, “Jackson! Interview. Now.”
Jackson straightens instantly. Public face snapping back on.
He glances at Alex one more time.
Just one.
Then he walks away.
Alex watches him go, heart still racing.
He follows a minute later, keeping distance.
The interview room is bright and sterile.
Alex stands off-camera. Arms crossed tight. Like he can hold himself together by force.
The host smiles wide.
“So, Jackson,” she says, “with all this attention—any special girl in your life?”
Alex’s breath catches.
He doesn’t look at Jackson.
He listens.
Jackson laughs easily.
“Yeah,” he says. “I only like girls.”
The words hit like a slap. So blatant. So pointed. So mean.
Embarrassment detonates. Immediate. Violent.
Isolation follows right after, like the air got sucked out of the room.
Alex feels the walls tilt.
Jackson doesn’t look at him once.
Not a flicker. Not a warning. Not an apology.
Just the perfect smile.
The crowd in the room laughs.
Alex steps back before anyone can see his face.
Betrayal settles into his bones.
And the trophy they won suddenly feels like it belongs to someone else. And was the moment just a spark that burned out too soon?
